OK - this Sunday's theme: willpower. Perhaps a worthy topic for those taking inventory of their lives at the division between Oh-nine and Oh-Ten. Anybody out there thinking of New Year's resolutions? And if you are...here's a question: How does one get the power, the willpower, to change? To become?
Kicking around in my cluttered head amidst this rumination is...Ayn Rand. I will confess: I have never read The Fountainhead. Read a summary or two, and have read up on "objectivism" and its relationship (and to some degree non-affinity) with brother Friedrich Nietzsche.
One of the most hilarious bits of lit I've read in the past couple years is Tobias Wolff's depiction of Ayn Rand in his wonderful little book Old School. (A quick read, totally worth it; one of the books that made me boo hoo like a babe at the end....). In it, he describes the main character's "Fountainhead" phase - disdaining all forms of mediocrity, and "second handers'" attempts to bring down his quest for excellence. A hoot.
The reason I mention this: Ayn Rand and Friedrich Nietzsche are frisky atheists - the latter brilliant, the former banal in my humble opinion - but both are poster children for the philosophical school of thought that focuses on self-will. The chief gift of being human is the ability to create, and to create one's destiny apart from the mediocritizing influence of the madding crowd. In this mode of thinking, faith misdirects our human will toward that which is unworthy of us; toward a "slave morality" as Nietzsche put it, which lauds the lowly, and shuns the great. (Love to hear from any Nietzscheans or anti-Nietzscheans out there).
Read Nietzche and you'll see he's got a lot to say, even to Christians. Not so much (OK, not having really read her) Ayn Rand, but I'm still open.
But to the point here: where does the power to change come from? The power to become who we are truly meant to be as humans? Does it come from our human will and determination? Or is there something to the notion that that power in fact comes from a source beyond human; and we put it to use in simply trusting it, believing in it.
Those in 12-step programs call it a "higher power". I would imagine such folk are not terribly simpatico with likes of Rand and Nietzsche. Theirs (and mine) is the belief that change requires something beyond us, a power that is higher than the human will. According to John, a power "to become children of God, who [are] born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God." Read the full text of John 1:1-18 here.
Where do we get the power to change? Love to hear any stories about how folk have found the power and ability to do that - to change something about themselves. How did you decide what needed to change? What was it that prompted you to do so? Setbacks and backslides? Success and confidence? Love to hear from you - by email or, heck, responding here....
Lastly...anybody out there who also had a "Fountainhead Phase". (I know a few of them...).
Meanwhile - Happy New Year! And good luck with those resolutions.
Jeff V.
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2 comments:
Jeff,
Happy New Year! Food for thought, as always. Not having read Fountainhead, I can't address that issue - read Atlas Shrugged and just never recovered from toting that tome all summer!
However, on the topic of change, I think the power to change to a certain extent depends on the degree of the change. I believe significant change requires a partnership with one's higher power. Studies have been done indicating that those trying to lose weight do better if they pray regularly for assistance in their endeavors. I actually had a little success with this, but haven't prayed for it in a while! :-0
On a more serious note, I was raised by an alcoholic who, while I was not physically abused, left his mark on my personality and how I interacted with others. Luckily I came to realize that I was not who I wanted to be well before I became a parent. It was through much prayer and focused concentration on changing my style and reflexes that I think I have become a better parent than I otherwise would have been. I work hard every day to protect my daughters from the unhealthy traits to which I had been exposed.
There certainly are setbacks - I'm sure you as a parent know what some of the triggers might be! - but the thing that keeps me moving on the path of continued self-improvement is the grace and beauty of my children from whom I ask forgiveness when I'm less than perfect and the support of my husband, who assures me that I have come far from my roots and am doing well at becoming a better person.
It is knowing that on certain days the Lord carries me on his shoulders that I know I can keep going on my journey to become a better person just as I raise good people. Because if I don't change, I don't leave the world a better place.
Thanks for your insight, Nancy - especially because they are born of your life experience.
What strikes me too is your statement about "a partnership with one's higher power." I suppose it's a very good reminder that it's rarely "either or" - my willpower vs. that of my divine help. It is the one working with the other, to the effect that lives become grateful in the process of change. We experience both grace, as well as our own efficacy.
It sounds like you have discovered that, as you have engaged in this process of change - and as you have witnessed how you wish to be as a wife and parent (always the testing ground - indeed!)
Blessings in 2010! And thanks for your comments.
Jeff
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