Does Suffering Build Character?

This entry accompanies the 2nd in a 4-part sermon series "Character: Christian Life Practice".

I ran cross country in high school - the only sport I could possibly have earned a letter in because it required absolutely no coordination. Our coach, who sported a crew cut, had the slightly psycho eyes of Rasputin, and whose politics were just one notch left of Atilla the Hun, hosted each year the Iron Man Weekend at his brother's farm. He'd have us run the exact same loops each year, through bogs, brambles, nettles and thorns, all designed for maximum damage. There was an award for the bloodiest legs at the end of the weekend.

"Mental toughness," was what he was after. "Mind Over Pain" was his motto.

Did I gain such things through this experience? Did it improve my character? I'd say in many ways it did. It was especially a lifeline to kids on that team who, in the absence of such structure and discipline, might not have done well in school - one even might well have ended up in jail. It was a bonding experience for us to undergo the ordeal of that weekend, and in general the crucible of the cross country team.

On the other hand, such experiences can be abusive. Those who believe in a philosophy of "no pain, no gain," often have a hard time with the value of compassion and the need for gentleness. Believing that pain and suffering are "good for us" seems a way of denying the crushing reality of suffering, and can even be an excuse to inflict it.

Perhaps more troubling is the theological issue here: can we say that God uses human suffering for our betterment? Can we ever say to someone in the midst of suffering, "this is good for you; you'll see." Can we imagine saying anything more cruel than that?

And yet, what would human life be in the absence of suffering? If we lived a life free from risk of harm, disease, death, would we really be human? Would we know the meaning of courage if there were nothing to risk? Is suffering, in that sense, part of the providence of God? In such a way, do we not confront the mystery of the cross?

On Sunday we'll deal with Romans 5:1-5 ("we boast in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope...") and Matthew 4:1-11, Jesus' 40 day ordeal in the wilderness.

Here are some questions to ponder:

* Does suffering produce character? Can you share an experience in which that was the case for you? In what ways can this be a very unhelpful, or even dangerous way to think of suffering?

* Do you think there is a gender-difference in approaching this question? I'm mindful of the way men might value "mental toughness" over the virtue of gentleness of heart. Or am I making an unhelpful generalization there?

* There's much talk these days about "failure to launch" kids. As parents/educators/mentors, is it of value to allow kids to experience challenge and suffering - or even to program for them such challenges? Outward Bound is one example of such a strategy - a literal testing in the wilderness.

* Do you think God allows suffering? How do we fit suffering into the notion of God's providence? (How's that for a wide-open ended question?)

Love to hear from folks, before or after this Sunday's sermon.

- Jeff V.

Maiden Voyage..."The Character of Character"

Friday morning. I write as I stare at the usual blank screen waiting for the muse to show up and help me organize the tangle of thoughts in my head into a coherent Sunday message for the saints. It usually happens around 11:00am. Still waiting.

So I have another Friday morning distraction with which to practice the art of procrastination. Blogging. Something I've only heard about on NPR until I decided to give it a whirl...and thus begin my first entry. The maiden voyage. The proverbial first pancake. The inaugural peep echoing into this now empty Electronic chamber.

Why now? I decided to create this blog to accompany a new sermon series I'm beginning on...character. For some reason, this subject seems to continue to bubble up in the soupy mess of my consciousness and prayer life. Does character matter? Is character the nature we're given, or is it imparted to us by our parents, our clan, our culture? Is it consciously chosen, or unconsciously pre-determined?

This question is particularly interesting to me as my wife and I raise a 7-year old son...who - as I did at his age - needs a good bit of character education. Many of us are struggling with these issues. How do we transmit life-giving values, self-affirming values, to our kids, in a culture that seems only to value achievement - getting into the best school, getting the best job, getting busy, getting ahead? But to what purpose? And as for the adults among us...what manner of persons shall we be?

What are the characteristics of a life-well lived? Is there a natural and metaphysically real "good" out there, as Aristotle would claim, toward which all of life aims--a good whose embodiment in human virtue is most conducive to human thriving? If so, how do we live such a life? And, the bottom line for us: what does that mean to the Christian life? How does our faith in God enable us to live this kind of "abundant life" that Jesus himself promised his followers?

I would invite readers and hearers to reflect on these questions and respond here. And if those don't get you going, here are some others:

* In my reading, living a life of virtue seems to go hand in hand with discipline. Our habits are most indicative of our character. We develop habits of the good life - or sometimes develop habits that are less than life-giving. What habits, or virtues, seem most conducive to such a life well-lived? What habits of the heart do you practice? What virtues and values are you seeking to teach your children?

* What are the death-dealing influences and potential vices with which you (and your family) are struggling? What are the societal pressures and cultural toxins you find yourself fending off in living your own life, and if you're a parent, in raising your kids?

* Are your schools paying attention to character education? What should we do as a church community?

* What is good reading on this subject? In a future post, I plan to talk more about the literature out there about character education, which is often grounded in a very broad understanding of character and virtue. For example, who could argue against practicing and teaching the virtue of integrity and honesty? But some literature I've read equates virtue with abstinence-only sex education, and with counseling your child out of homosexual feelings - culture-war axe grinding that obscures more than clarifies what it means to impart virtue and character.

What do you think? Comments, reflections, and more questions, are most welcome!

- Jeff Vamos

PS - I'm doing this first entry...and will probably follow up with several during the sermon series, which ends on the last Sunday in February. But the blog is designed to be written by our whole staff. In the future, look for entries from Mary Alice, Bryce, Rich, Robyn, Jeanne, and others.